Things on my Mind

I took last week (Mon/Weds) off from BJJ last week. Funny thing is a few people got promoted and it makes me feel like I am being left behind. I feel like I'm in this slump with BJJ, especially after rolling with Professor Steve and getting half-guard swept twice, which he then yelled at me for making the same mistake twice. It has made me started thinking, what am I doing with this art? I'm a 30 year old, 5' 6", and 160 lbs software engineer and I have yet to answer myself. My heart is not into anything much lately: bjj, work, working out... I'm starting to wonder if my job is taking the passion out of me.

I also don't want to get a promotion (another stripe) until I deserve it. I tell myself I need to work harder, but the harder I work, the more frustrated I feel when I roll poorly.

I just have to keep telling myself that the journey of BJJ is like the journey of life, and I must not let it end so easily.

I hope this week off makes me hunger for BJJ again (hasn't yet) because I want to compete at the San Diego Grappling X. I figure since it's so close in my neighborhood that I should just go and roll. It will help keep me honest with my skill. Plus, truthfully, until I competed in the last Grappling X, I didn't know how bad my takedowns were and where I needed to improve.  However, the last time I competed, I was hungry.

I need to work on passing guard, especially after I get stuck in half-guard.